My dog died today.  No idea why.  He has no marks on him, no blood, no foaming at the mouth…nothing.  It’s like he laid down, went to sleep, and never woke up. =(  I’ve been crying off and on all day.  He was still a pup although a little over a  year old.  I would have expected it if it were Henley the old golden retriever mix, but the young one? =(

Sunday was father’s day and the birthday of a friend from work.  I went to eat breakfast with my step dad and called my real dad like a good girl. =)  After TBF got off work, he picked me up and we went to Jose’s bday party.  Pizza, drinking, and video games.  I ate pizza and watched them do the other two things.  I also played designated driver for TBF and Agorwal.  Things were mild and calm.  Nothing much to talk about unless you count Jose’s gf talking about wanting to do his mom if she were a lesbian.  At one point, one of the guys there said, “WTF?!?!” We all turned to see the gf standing on her head in the middle of the living room.  She did that several times throughout the night for no apparent reason.  Later, I was watching the guys playing halo and suddenly a thought popped into my head, “I’m at the geek party!”

We all got home safe and sound and Ag went to sleep on our sofa.  I left out before anyone was up the next morning and a couple hours later, the ex and Vanessa came to look at the car.  They let themselves in to find Ag startled on the sofa….lol  I can only imagine what he was thinking, but he knows Vanessa and she knew he was there because I’d already filled her in.  I still would have enjoyed seeing that…lol

I’m a boring person these days.  I’ve always had so much going on that it was easy to blog.  There was always something to blog about.  Now though, Vanessa aka drama queen has left, TBF has moved in, and we’re just like an old married couple.  We don’t do too much and just basically enjoy spending lazy time watching movies and hanging out.  It’s hard to blog when every day is “We got up, went to work, came home, ate dinner, went to bed.”…lol  The good news is that I can’t remember feeling more complete and at ease.  TBF is still completely wonderfull, the most trouble Ethan gets into is not taking the trash out when I tell him to, and the only drama drifts in from the ex’s place.  For instance…

Yesterday I met the ex and Vanessa at the court house to transfer the title of Vanessa’s car over.  I couldn’t find her car title though.  I looked everywhere and no title.  The last time I remember seeing it was when she got her ticket.  She said the license plate number didn’t match and I pulled it out to check.  I really feel as if she loaded that up when she rounded up all the keys to her car - she wanted to make sure I didn’t get rid of it.  Since I didn’t have the title, I couldn’t change it over.  Instead, I had to apply for a lost title.  A few hours later, they informed me that they were going to trade in the car in order to get her a new one.  I was like forget that!  You want me to fix the car (motor mounts cost $400) just so you can get a few hundred on a trade in?  I’ll just keep it for Ethan!  They were mad, but I just think that’s goofy.  The ex wouldn’t help me buy her a car and refused to help me fix her car when she tore it up, but he wants me to invest the money to fix it so he can get more trade in and use his 401K to buy her one.  He’s a fruitloop.

They also couldn’t get her trust money.  He lost the paperwork I gave him on it and thought he could just walk in and take care of it.  He went to the child support office and asked them about it.  /boggle  They have nothing to do with it; however, he keeps trying to tell me they do.  He then told me that WE were going to have to go before a judge to get it out for her.  I was like, “There’s no way.  Our names are not on there anywhere.  She’s 18 and her name is the only one on the account.  WE don’t do anything.”  Finally, he said, ” The attorney that presided over it is now a judge so he has to sign the papers.”  There’s a big difference between signing the papers and going before the judge.  At any rate, Vanessa said they had to make an appointment and go back. The ex said the paperwork is messed up because it’s going through child support so they’re going to call him when they straighten it all out.  Which story do you believe?

That’s the most uproar there’s been around here in the last few months…lol  Boring, aren’t I?

I have a sofa and love seat!  Found one for a steal on craigslist.  Looked brand new until I caught it on the door facing while moving it into the house. =/  Now it has a small 1/2″ tear on the back of the sofa.  I put it against the wall for now.  I’ll pick up the stuff to sew it up today after work.

Last night I got home before TBF and began making dinner.  I put brownies in to bake while making mashed potatoes, mac & cheese, and searing the outside of the steaks.  TBF called and suddenly I remembered the brownies…they were burnt at the corners.  I popped the steaks in the oven and we went outside for a few minutes.  When I got back, the steaks were a little blackened on the edges.  TBF was like, awww.  I pointed to the plate of brownies and announced, “I made blackies for dessert too!”

I thought I’d at least make this rant a little entertaining.

Four days left until graduation and Vanessa has a revelation
“I don’t have a working car and my college is so very far!”
Then came the very most shocking thing
“Since my car needs fixed, dad says you’re paying.”

“Oh really?  That’s good to hear.  How’d I get volunteered?”
“When he took you to court, you got all that back child support.
He’s completely broke.  He has no money.”
Heh, he makes triple what I do.  I find that funny.

“I did get back pay, but back bills ate that away!
You left me to live with your dad.  If he can’t pay, that’s too bad.
Do you even know what college you’re going to attend?
Maybe you can ride there with a friend.”

“Mom, it’s summer.  Having no car would be a bummer.
I can’t stay home all day.  I need a job.  Something that pays.”
“Yes I know.  It’s what I’ve been telling you for a while.
Why do I have to pay now that you’re no longer in denial?”

“Who else will do it if you can’t?.” Then I stopped my rant.
“I know I sound a bit like a grouch, but that is the money for my couch.
Do you monitor my bank account?  Was it just blind luck?
How did you know I’d saved a few hundred bucks?”

“Mom if you can’t, then it’s okay.  I understand.”
She knows I’ll find a way.  Her dad won’t pay.
It’s not fair, but we all know that I’ll do anything for her
It’s just part of the job since I’m her mother.

I love this song by the Plain White T’s.  TBF doesn’t like it, but too bad.  He has to listen to it anyway…lol

The prom was this weekend.  Vanessa went but didn’t send me any pics at all.  =(  I won’t get to see.  My niece got Prom Queen at her prom and sent me pics.  My own daughter though didn’t think to send me any. =(  I’m still not over her moving out.  Not a day goes by that I don’t wonder what went wrong and why she’s not here with me.  My sister called to ask if I’m going to the senior assembly on Friday.  Part of me wants to go see these kids I’ve watched grow up.  The other part of me just wants to break down and cry for the loss of my baby. =(  I know my sister and my niece are trying to keep me in the loop and make me a part of their stuff.  I appreciate the thought, but it’s so upsetting.  I want to be a part of my own daughter’s stuff and I feel like I got cheated out of my last year with her.

Rebecca called too.  She yelled and screamed at me because she’s not getting along with her dad.  She said something about, “It’s not fair.” and I told her what isn’t fair is that I get yelled and cursed at for stuff I haven’t even been involved in.  I told her I’d had enough and was hanging up.  Then I did hang up.

I was about to start crying in the middle of the store.  Daughter drama overload.  I have limits to what I can handle.  I could probably have handled that all right, but I found out over the weekend that my aunt has breast cancer.  No one else in our entire family has ever had it, but she does.  The same aunt who’s the mother of my cousin that died.  It just seems so unfair to make her have all this bad stuff to deal with.

…and I have to admit that for a split second, I thought that it’d be easier to deal with if my daughter had just died.  Then I wouldn’t wonder why I don’t seem to be important enough to her to think about and want to spend time with.  I wouldn’t wonder what I did wrong or why she can live without me.  I know better.  I don’t really think that would be better.  I just have a hard time dealing with a selfish 18 year old that doesn’t think of her mommy as much as her mommy thinks of her. =(

One of my little sister’s gaming buddies got sent for his second tour in Iraq.  She sent off a quickie care package with snacks and stuff, but was asking our other sister and me for other ideas.  We were looking through one of those cheapy junk catalogs for stuff to send with cute little catch phrases when she turned the page and there were rubber duckies.  I said, “You could send them one of those with a note saying, “Hurry up and get the duck out of there.”"

That was enough to start the duck craze.  They had doctor ducks - “Nip and Ducks”.  They had hats that were duck heads with the bill of the cap being the duck bill - for quack heads.  There were western ducks - the good the bad and the ducky.  There were ducks with numbers on them.  My sister said, “Everyone remembers their first duck.”  She said, “We could paint some green.  Then they would be Yoducks.”  - May the duck be with you.

We decided to send a duck with each care package and kept coming up with more duck sayings.  Finally, my sister said, “I can’t quit thinking duck thoughts now!”  I told her she obviously had “down” syndrome.

A friend of my mom’s took him.  She has big cattle dogs and wanted another because hers are getting old. I’m glad he’s got a good home rather than having to go to doggie jail.  As I said, he’s a good natured dog.  I just can’t handle a puppy big enough to eat furniture as a snack.