My kids went to the doctor last week with strep throat.  I got sick over the weekend, but not with strep throat.  I have some bad bootie cold.  As if that weren’t bad enough, Mandy got out into the woods and when I picked her up to carry her in the house, I got poison ivy on my arms.  I now have a wicked case of poison ivy.  I feel like that’s karma coming back to bite me in the butt.  I made a comment about one of the cashier’s they sent to help us out in the pharmacy.  She has scars all over her arms where she’s picked scabs.   If I were a customer, I wouldn’t want her handing me my prescriptions.  Sure enough, I end up with this horrible rash!

I’ve not done much more than sleep the last few days.  I left work yesterday felling horrible…not just because I was sick, but because I was leaving them short handed too.  I couldn’t help it though.  I felt completely awful.  I got up feeling bad again this morning so I went to the doctor.  She gave me a shot (in the hip which hurt like the dickens)  and three different prescriptions.  Oh the joys of meds.  She then went on to tell me that I could go back to work.  I went to work…and after an hour and a half, I just couldn’t take feeling dizzy and my eyeballs hurting.  That’s right.  My eyeballs hurt.  It felt like they ran a marathon.  The muscles hurt every time I looked in a different direction.

I’m going to work tomorrow and I’m going to tough out the whole day…unless I happen to pass out.  I can do it!  I hope.

…and I had this idea. You know how they send dead roses to people they hate for Valentines? I was thinking that someone should make candies based on Sweethearts - those awful little heart shaped candies with the cute sayings like, “Be mine” and “I <3 U” on them. I suggested to some work friends that these new candies would be called Blackhearts and rather than coming in pastel colors, they’d come in black, white, and red. They’d say things like, “DIE!” One friend suggest “I H8 U.” When I mentioned it to Cytha, he’d said he’s always wanted to make fortune cookie sayings. I said, “Perfect! We just make them Misfortune Cookies and market them to the same people!

What do you think? A good idea?

Okay, so Twist is gone.  I’ve come to terms with that despite not liking it one bit.  However, did the karma gods really need to send me a new pet?

This morning, there was a ruckus in the living room.   Being the lazy person I am, I yelled from my room, “What’s going on?”  There was no answer, but the noise stopped.  I wanted to roll back over and go to sleep, but I couldn’t.  I finally got up.  When I did, Vanessa yelled, “MOM!  Come here!  You’ll never guess what the cats brought in.”  …and she was right.  I never would have.  It was a flying squirrel.  We don’t even have those around here that I’ve ever seen.  This one had to be someone’s pet that they released.  The kids handled him all morning and he never tried to get away or bite.  Right now, he’s being kept in the cage we had the mockingbird in.  I’m hoping that like the mocking bird, we can release him back into the wild once he recovers from the trauma of almost being breakfast.

I got schmooed into going prom dress shopping with my niece.  She called, “Aunt Renee, you have better taste than my mom.  You and I like the same kinds of things.  Please come with me!”  So I did.  All day Saturday.

I know you are all jealous that you didn’t get to go, but not to worry.  We didn’t buy anything so there’s still plenty for you to go look at.  That’s right.  We spent the whole day and didn’t buy anything.

I came across two teenaged boys that had been dragged along.  One was staring blankly at the fitting room doors.  I apologized to him on behalf of all the sane women of the world.  “I’m so sorry you had to come!”  The poor boy looked petrified.  I could tell he didn’t know if he should laugh or even acknowledge that I’d spoken to him.  I turned around and the mother of his date was glaring at me.  I smiled sweetly and laughed.  “I know this can’t be fun for them.”  She didn’t laugh.  I got the  feeling that this was a bigger deal for her than for the kids.  Pushy mom…lol  I thought about tagging along and trying to make things more fun (for me), but decided I shouldn’t embarrass my niece like that…lol

Some woman saw the posters and called to say “If you find him, can we breed him to my female?”  I wanted to rip her head off.  “If you find my dog, you can have unlimited stud rights, but you can’t breed to a dog that’s not there!  Find my dog!!!!”  Grrrr…  He’s gone.  Someone picked him up and I’ll never see him again.  If I was going to get him back, he would have been returned already. =(   I’m debating on spending the money on another one.  I’m afraid the same thing might happen again.

What is it with me and drama? My daughter broke up with her boyfriend so I get calls from both her bf and her best friend’s dad to report on where she’s going or where her ex bf is and what they’re up to. Why do they care?!?!

Vanessa went to pick up Tramp Stamp at TS’s bf’s house on Friday. I got two phone calls reporting that she was in that subdivision. I called my daughter, “You know you’re not supposed to be over there, so hurry it up.” About 30 mins later, I texted her, “You at her mom’s house yet?” I got no answer. About 10 mins later, she walked in the front door. “I don’t feel good and I knew you’d be calling every 5 minutes so I came home.” I felt like that wasn’t the case. I think something happened with Tramp Stamp that she didn’t like, but that’s okay with me. She did the right thing and came home. An hour later, Ryder called and she went down to his house for a couple hours. odd how she didn’t feel good enough to spend the night with TS, but felt fine enough to face Ryder and his parents….lol I let it go though. She did the right thing. I’m not going to make her tell me details if she doesn’t want to.

Saturday night, she had a different girl spend the night. Sunday, she was taking her home in the same little subdivision that her ex lives in. He promptly called to tattle on her and ask me to not let her come down there. He mistakenly thought she was going to his cousin’s house to visit the new boy. “She’s going to get in trouble because this boy’s just bad.” Hmm….he plays baseball in a year round league which means he’s subjected to random drug testing all year long. He plays football. He knows what college he’s going to attend and even what major he wants. He attends church with his parents every Sunday and Wednesday. Sounds like to me the boy doesn’t have much free time to find trouble. On the other hand, you called my daughter drunk last night to yell at her and tell her she’s a whore for dating people after you broke up…

Girls are too much drama. I just keep thinking, one more year and she’ll be off to college. I just have to make it

one

more

year.

I got home from work yesterday and Twist wasn’t waiting for me at the gate like normal.  I went in the house and checked around, but there was no sign of him.  I called my sister to see if he’d wandered down to her mother-in-law’s house.  She has a toy schnauzer that’s in heat and the couple of times he’s managed to get out, he runs straight down there.  No luck though.  He wasn’t there and they hadn’t seen him.  I texted the kids who were at church.  When they got home, they searched the woods and the road sides.  I spent an hour driving all around calling for him.  He just seems to have vanished though.  Poor little guy is only 7 pounds and it got down to freezing last night.   I’m fixing to go looking for him again.  This weekend, we’re going to post signs at all the local establishments.  I don’t know what else to do.  I’ve never had a pet come up missing before and sense we’ve seen no signs of him in the ditches or roads, I’m thinking someone may have stolen him.

*cries*

I want my dog back!

My daughter and her boyfriend broke up.  It was ugly and lots of drama.  I rejoiced silently as I thought they’d been way too serious.  His parents (and even aunt) told me that they considered her part of the family now.  His mom wanted to have Vanessa over so they could help the kids work through their problems.  I told Vanessa that 16 and 17 year olds don’t need counseling.  They just need to move on.  She couldn’t do this though.  She had to go over to visit her friend - the senior girlfriend of Cody’s cousin.  She wanted to spend the night with her.  She’s 19, has a tramp stamp, and her mom allows her to spend weekends with her boyfriend and his parents.  /boggle

I wouldn’t let her of course and the fight was on.  It ended with me telling her she was grounded and not allowed to go over to Cody’s or his aunt’s house (which is right across the street from Cody).  I told her that her friend was welcome to come to our house, but there was no way she was going to spend the night with her considering that her parents and Cody’s aunt seem to have morality issues.

I heard a lot of, “What’s your problem?!?!  She’s 19 and can do what she wants!  Her mom and her boyfriend’s mom don’t have a problem with it!”

My answer, “Vanessa’s mom does.”

“Why can’t I go to Cody’s house?  Cody’s family loves me.  Why can’t I go see them?”

“I didn’t raise you to play mind games!  If you’re breaking it off with this boy, you break it off.  Don’t go hang with his family to rub it in his face and don’t give his family false hope that you’re going to get back together with him.  I’m finished talking about it.”

At that point, she gave her last rebuttal, “You’re being stupid!”

…and I gave mine, “You’re being grounded.” I picked up her car keys and walked away.

The next day, I didn’t hear a word from her while I was at work.  I called on my way home to see what was going on.  I heard my child speaking once again rather than the teen witch, “I talked to Travis.”  Travis?  Who’s Travis?!?!  “He agreed with you.  I’m sorry mom.  I was just mad and yelled at you.”

Travis is the 17 year old boy that she’s now interested in.  There’s also a Ray, a Ryder, an Aaron, a Ginsler, and I’m sure a few more that I forgot the names of.  She knows the rules and they do too.  You have to come over and give me time to get to know you before you take my daughter out. This weekend is supposed to be a “get to know the boys” weekend around my house - starting Friday!   Can’t wait. =/
I’d forgotten the endless string of boys Vanessa used to have prior to her “settling down” with Cody for a year and a half.  I’m not really sure I want to go back to that again now that she’s older and car dates are in the picture.  Her phone rings off the hook again and I have to go back to being the mean disapproving mom - an act that I find hard to play.

I was thinking I could trade in my 16 year old for two 8 year olds.  They’re much easier to raise as I’ve had two of them already and know how to do it, but then it hit me.  If I do that, I’d eventually have two 16 year olds…and I don’t want to go there.  Instead, I decided to look for half a 32 year old…

Whenever holidays or my birthday rolls around, people ask me what I would like as a gift.  I never can come up with anything.  That all changes now.  THIS is what I want!  Only I want it with the engine and could you maybe fix the stability issues too?  Thanks!

As a routine question at the pharmacy, we ask, “Are you allergic to any medications?” to new customers.  Today, a customer came in to drop off a prescription and told us they were allergic to a medicine and which one.  Then she said, “Every time I take it, I swell up and die.”  I wanted to turn around and ask ho many times she’d taken it and what the secret to life after death was; however, I just smiled and tried not to laugh as I pictured her coming back to life in the Tirisfal Glades…